What it is like to date someone in debt and how to help them

Unfortunately, couples who argue about money matters once a week are 30 percent more likely to file a divorce. Money matters are the second leading cause of divorce. Couples with $50,000 or more in debt say that money is the primary reason for their argument. However, about two-thirds of all marriages start in debt.

Why is debt something you should consider when dating?

Money is an essential parameter of a healthy marital relationship. Therefore, it is necessary to know about each other’s financial situation and ideas about money management.

While you are dating, try to understand the other person’s views on money matters to know whether or not you’re on the same page. Even if not, try to determine whether or not both of your views are rigid, or you can easily discuss and find a solution to money matters.

Does one person being in debt affect the relationship in the early stages?

A person being in debt can influence the other person to splurge in a relationship. It is a little difficult to resist enticements.

Initially, a person with good money habits can get influenced, start using credit cards inefficiently, and incur debt problems.

A person good at managing money may overlook the other person’s good qualities and may not want to enter a relationship with a person with debt and who can’t manage finances efficiently.

What about later stages when things get more serious?

After marriage, debt can influence in the following ways:

  • an otherwise good relationship - Debt leads to argument and ruins a perfect relationship.
  • Delay having children - Having children is a huge financial responsibility, too.
  • increasing net worth - It might be challenging to buy a home together if one of the partners has debt.
  • Lead to divorce - Debt is one of the primary reasons for a divorce.

What situations can come up when you’re dating someone in debt?

  • When you are dating someone with debt, your partner can influence you to spend unnecessarily and use your credit cards for every purchase. Your partner can also pursue you to pay money to overcome his or her debt problems.
  • When you come to know that your partner is in debt, have a hard conversation with him or her. A relationship may not work out if your partner doesn’t understand his or her fault and continues to splurge.
  • If your partner understands his or her fault, you can support your partner to overcome his or her
  • debt problems.
  • Be aware that your partner doesn’t influence you to splurge.

What is your advice to anyone whose significant other has a lot of debt?

I always advise not to criticize a person for debt problems. It might be that he or she has dealt with a financial emergency. So, it is better to find the cause behind the debt problems.

If it is due to poor money management habits, then a person better at it should take charge and help the other person manage money efficiently. And, if it is due to a financial emergency, then help your partner budget well, save money, and repay payday debt or credit card debt as soon as possible.

What are some ways you could support your significant other?

First of all, not blame your partner for the debt. There may be several factors to experience debt problems.

Motivate your partner to repay debt - If you are good at managing money, share your tips so that your significant other can get out of debt fast.

Show how to deal with debt - Use a credit card responsibly and show him or her how to do that.

Find out a way to repay debt - You can talk to your partner to opt for payday loan help or opt for credit card consolidation to solve debt problems.

Set a time to talk about finance - While dating, set a week to discuss money matters, and it will make your relationship stronger.

I would advise you not to reject a person just because he or she can’t handle finances efficiently. If you are better at it, help your significant other to learn it, too.

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