Getting straight to the point, here are some of the instances, when you and I and most others fall into the trap laid out by our financial frenemies - people who pretend to be our friend, but wreak havoc on our budgets, using their gift of the gab!
Instance 1:It's worth a purchase!
Smart response: If you're being instructed to buy a certain item from one such frenemy, then it doesn't make mandatory on your part to oblige to suggestions. Rather, you should sit back and reflect, whether or not the item in question is actually worth your time and investment
Tips to handle:
The most effective way to handle a cheapskate is when you're into a group outing and ask for separate tabs.
Or, you may ask your frenemy to pay for the first round of drinks at the bar and say that you’d follow him/her next.
Instance 2:"Could you please spot me? I'll have you covered the next time."
Smart response: An occasional helping hand to a dear friend or a colleague is OK. But it shouldn't become a custom in your relationship with him or her. You need to draw the line as to what extent you can and will go to bail your frenemy out of a certain crisis.
You must use a plan to play down offering loans to your frenemies and instead, counsel your frenemies with the importance of getting financially organized.
Tips to handle:
You can choose to gift an item that you'd happily lose. It could be worth as low as $10 or whatever. You can gift that money and don't expect it to get back, even if promised.
Or you can say, "I'll cherish our friendship too much and believe me, I'd hate to involve money in it. But, I'm always there to support you any other way possible. I'll dig into my network and find out the ways to help you out."
Instance 3: "C'mon! 'tis just a drink/dinner/coffee, etc."
Smart response:A lot of times, your friends may coax you into spending money on things trivial, fully knowing how desperately you are into saving money. And that makes saving your hard earned dollars all the more challenging. For you, it's a tight situation and you find it hard to say "No" to your frenemies. So, what you could do to offset such adverse events is set aside some money, for impulsive purchases, out of your monthly budget
Tips to handle:
When confronted by a frenemy to spend on menial items, you could politely retort by saying, "How I wish I could, but you know, I've set aside that money for parent's medical bills.
Instance 4: "It's fine to pay for something you wanted"
Smart response: Like all others, you too have got the little green-eyed monster hidden inside you. However, if you blame yourself and feel guilty after certain purchases, in exchange for some assets you own, just to impress others, then you are defeating the purpose of having the financial capacity to enjoy your money and get a life you wanted to live - one that you value and prefer more.
Yes, you need to be astute enough to strike a commendable balance in shoving off expenses and feeling guilty. Therefore, to play with care and confidence to neutralize any possible friction in any such situation; all you could do is simply say, "Thank you, I'm humbled and enjoying every bit of it.
Tips to handle:
The most effective way to handle such a person is to come up with the "fade". Take, for instance, you can go to Facebook's option to stop receiving the updates in your newsfeed and drop that person from your invitation list. The bottom line is, when friendship is over, more than ⅔ rds of the time it happen through the "the fade", instead of a big bust up.
Instance 5:"How much raise did you get this time? How much did it cost you?"
Smart response:It's fine to discuss money matters. But, it's not when people try to dig deeper into your financial whereabouts, especially when they pose questions like these to you.
Queries of this kind are meant to draw a direct comparison between you and them, financially.
Any information shared might become a juicy fodder for the rumor mills. A positive way to handle a situation like this is to respond saying, "Yearly raise? They obliged with what I was praying for this time that makes me feel important and valued."
Tips to handle:
To keep frenemies at bay, you could use some vague one-liners like "too much not enough". However, if your one-liners fail, then you should step up the ante and cordially explain your inconvenience regarding money-related discussions.
Instance 6:"Boss gave you $50 Gift card and me a $2000 Bonus!"
Smart response: You were all elated with the token of appreciation for your dedicated service from your employer when your best friend in office comes along and shares his/her overwhelming joy of receiving a fatter bonus - only to your utter disgust and self-pity.
The best solution to such malice is to ignore them
And make yourself remember that you’ve got what you deserved. If this ignorant downplay of your emotions has become a regular jig by your frenemies, then you could have a detailed conversation on the matter and share how their comments make you feel.
Tips to handle:
You can set limits and impose guidelines as to how much information a person can access pertaining to the project you're working on. Never get sucked-in and disclose more than expected of you. Fend for yourself, if a frenemy hurts your sentiments.
What to do when you have mixed money with friends
It's not a crime to mix money with friends. It's just a safety measure. Still, if you've given a personal loan to a friend, then be careful. Wait for a few days and see if he/she gives back your money within the deadline. If he/she doesn't, then here are a few ideas that may help you to receive payments from friends
